UnburdenedSelf™

When it comes down to it, I really do care what people may or may not think of me.

As try as I might to not allow myself to ’care’, as a person I just feel I can’t help it.

It seems I’ve always been this way, at least from late teens into and past my 20’s.

Yet parts of my personality trait, and also when depressed, have led to my actions or non actions often being perceived as: confusing, frustrating, upsetting etc by others.

Telephone calls are one example, not opening the door when people would take time to come and visit, looking glum, looking unapproachable, being indifferent, not being able to make certain decisions, making plans and abandoning at the last minute etc.

Mostly all are unintentional (I have mastered the ‘don’t approach me face for personal security’) yet the consequences have often been quite negative, so this always leaves me so exasperated with myself.

As Bruce Lee said,

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

I’ve not yet learnt how to live up to my own expectations, let alone anyone else’s.